Key Ingredients to Goal Setting

Have you made any New Year’s resolutions? What makes the difference between abandoning or actually following through with new goals we set for ourselves? I’m circling back to a theme I addressed in a previous entry, “A Return to Vitality: Approaching Fitness with Desire and Curiosity.” This time, in the context of change in the New Year, I want to broaden the scope to include any goal setting that will contribute to wellness.

When we undertake a new goal, it almost always requires change. We all know how challenging and daunting change can be. To increase the likelihood that you’ll stay with it and succeed, ask yourself a series of questions. Try to answer them as honestly, objectively and kindly as you possibly can. Consider using a journal. What thoughts, beliefs and values brought you to your goal? How realistic is it? To what extent is this change in your sphere of control? Do the goals you’re setting for yourself involve others? Are there potential downsides for you and others if you undertake these changes? If yes, do the benefits outweigh the downsides? Are your goals measurable? How can you initiate the process and then maintain it? What steps need to be taken to support you in getting started and maintaining the goals once you’ve achieved them?

I have a client who decided she wanted to change her diet to include much more vegetables and plant based proteins while avoiding processed foods. She believed losing fifteen pounds in the course of twelve months would help her better control her diabetes and give her more energy. Not supporting the companies that produce junk food also really appealed to her since she wanted to serve as an example to her children. She was the main cook for her partner and three children. Since they weren’t joining her when she began the change, she had to anticipate spending more time prepping and making meals for herself. We planned out how to shop efficiently, do meal prep and come up with quick meals for her and the other family members. We also discussed strategies for avoiding junk food in the house. Now, after several months of being able to implement these changes and having lost ten pounds, she’s more confident in her ability to stick to her goal.

One of the most important questions to ask yourself is “Am I undertaking this goal with all my heart?” You might find that this is related to the thoughts, feelings and values question. I was approached by someone who wanted to learn to read, write and speak Persian. She mentioned that her late mother had always wanted her to learn the language, so much so that she audited Persian languages courses at UCLA for years, hoping to gain the skills to help her daughter. We worked for some time until one day our conversation led to her asking herself “Am I doing this for myself or because it’s what my mother wanted for me?” She realized she wasn’t enjoying the process and that led her to re-evaluate her motivations.

Whatever goals you undertake in 2023, may they come from a place of intrinsic desire. May the process you undertake bring you gratification, joy and fulfillment .

Suggested Reading:

Deepak Chopra, Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul: How to Create a New You

Books I'm Currently Reading:

Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Breath

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

Suzannah Olivier, Stress Protection Plan: Everyday Ways to Beat Stress and Enjoy Life